Jesus alone should be enough. Yet, I’ve spent years adding to Jesus and I guess it will take me years to unload all of it…if ever.  Adding to Jesus only casts him further from me. Self improvement only leads to self-reliance and at the end of it Jesus is yet further away. The more I depend on Jesus the more I realize the distance between myself and God. This is an impossible distance…and the only way to bridge this distance is the Cross. The longer I try to practice the abiding life the longer this gap becomes and I understand how much more I need Christ…desperately need him.

I can look back and see that times of suffering brought me closer to Him. But i didn’t like it when I was going through it and I won’t like it any better today or tomorrow. In my brokenness and sin I see that I need Jesus, just more Jesus. He brings value and worth to my life. Jesus come be my life. There is not a damn thing I can do to make myself better…nothing but abide in Jesus.