Exactly one year ago I received a phone call…a horrible cry for help from my brother. He was in the process of killing himself with alcohol…he actually died in the hospital from alcohol poisoning. I didn’t realize it at the time since he told me he was going to shoot himself after we hung up…so I didn’t hang up. After a while my husband had to take the phone from me since I was too torn to speak any longer…my sobs were so strong I could hardly breathe let alone plead with him to live. That evening was horrible and for the remainder of my days Veteran’s Day will always be a remembrance of one of the most tortured days of my life.

The military got rid of my brother as soon as they could. They (those who make the decisions to toss damaged soldiers out) are cold-hearted cowards. Their decisions were all about money and not about doing what was right by the soldiers suffering from the after effects of war and “peacekeeping”. The whole situation makes me sad and sick in my heart.

We took in my brother. Made room for him in our lives. Bought a storage building for him to keep his things until he could stand on is own feet. He refused to use the storage building and I realized he wasn’t interested in getting better. I told him he couldn’t drink around my kids. Anti-psychotic pills, alcohol and little children do not mix. He broke my heart when he didn’t care…broken in a way that cannot be fixed by apologies. He made me afraid in my own home…the old fear I knew so well growing up under our father’s hateful manipulative lies.

But I wasn’t the easy to manipulate sister he once knew. He tried to manipulate me against my husband. He tried to make me feel weak, small and afraid. He belittled my faith. I don’t take abuse anymore from anyone. No one scares my children in their own home…

We removed him from our home. And I cried for my little brother that I once loved and who I believe is no more. He could not break free of our father’s abuse and became just like out father. I cannot help him other than to pray for his soul. The only help my brother needs is Jesus…and he rejects Him.