in pursuit of wild things

I didn’t post last week so this is more like a bi-weekly wrap-up this time. Last Thursday night (when I usually write this) I watched the Daytona qualifiers with my husband. We haven’t watched much racing the past couple of years but it was pretty cool to see the number three car on the track again. Usually I will write-up my post on Friday mornings if Thursday night is too busy. Well, I spend last Friday morning baking a mocha cake for a mom’s night out while the kids worked at the dining room table. I got to spend an evening with friends and work on my scrapbook. I stayed out until 2:00 in the morning…which is crazy for me. We are hoping to repeat our night out in March too…just depends on how our schedules will work out.

In the last post I was looking forward to a Valentine’s party with a local homeschool group. We ended up leaving early and deciding that we would no longer participate in activities with this group. We’ve been involved with this group for almost two years and the kids nor I have made any friends. Only one lady talks to me (our husband’s work together) and if I do try to talk to someone else the conversations feel forced. Everyone there just already knows each other and there isn’t much room for someone who does not live in their town. I’m not really mad at the group but it really isn’t worth our time to participate in anything with them. So we are done. The kids were not heartbroken…at all. Did you notice the guy in the background in the first picture? Littlest though he was Santa Clause and kept hiding behind me.

I was a bit of a sleepy zombie on Saturday but managed to get a little housework in while my husband took the older three skating. I wish the skating rink was closer…we would go more often. Sparkles won the limbo game again. She loves to skate and I like to watch her skate…especially when she is just dancing to the music in her own little world. She just looks so happy and free…in those moments my heart feels so light and joyful. I love watching her skate. Later that day we all went out to the dam for a walk. The day and sunshine was nice but the wind was a bit cool. The kids played outside after we arrived back home. They went to play in the creek…their favorite place these days. They watched a possum muddle along the edge of the creek. Then the animal “splashed and played in the water” until it went under and then never came back up. After hearing the kids story about the possum my husband went to the creek’s edge to find the playful possum…only to discover the unfortunate creature had drowned. How weird! I had just been reading about nature journaling and was tinkering around with the idea in our homeschool…maybe not.

Earlier this week I got a call from my estranged brother. I didn’t answer the call…he called six time in a row. I do not answer my phone during school hours. I guard the time I spend educating my kids…you just have to. It would be all too easy to waste time on the computer or chatting on the phone and loose precious time and opportunity with my children. He finally left a message but he was so drunk I had trouble understanding what was said. Later, I played the message for my husband. Turns out my brother was threatening me not to change my number. Naturally, I want to change

my number. Am I the only one who gets threatening phone calls from alcoholic brothers? Probably not, but all this drunken silliness only strengthens my belief that the only family I really have is my husband and our children…not really anyone else.

Our family was struck with the sudden tragedy of suicide this week. I did not personally know the young man, but my husband was (and still is) heartbroken for his cousin who must now bury his son. There are no words to offer…no promises of prayer will bring comfort. I could offer nothing to my husband in his sorrow and feelings of helplessness.

I felt angry. So much anger rose out of me and I know I must have sounded calloused. My high school boyfriend committed suicide the summer before my senior year. My parents kept it a secret until after the funeral…the same day my senior picture for the year book was taken. I hate my senior picture. I hated everyone who came to talk to me about his suicide. They meant well but I didn’t want to talk. So I locked all those feeling in some dark recess of my soul and turned the key. Well, the door unlocked with this sorrowful event and all this anger and pain just poured out of me. I’m still pissed at him after all these years. And so sad. I apologetically told my husband my feelings and even confessed my sorrow for never having kissed the boy.

If you are so inclined please say a prayer today for the parents who bury their children.

Last night I got a call from Mrs. V, wonderful lady who runs the preschool program at our local high school. She called to let me know that Littlest was accepted into the program and to give me some details…when to expect paperwork and such. Classes start sometime in September. Middle Boy loved their program and still thinks Mrs. V is the most fabulous woman ever.

Today, the kids will finish their MathUSee text books. Our school year is wrapping up quickly. Within in the month they will finish up all of their current studies! We will be going through Beautiful Feet Books’ Geography Through Literature during the interim before our next school year starts up. We are ready to wrap up this school year and enjoy a relaxed break period with this geography study. The kids will keep their math skills sharp with Math Mammoth unit studies too. Seems like we just started fourth and second grade and now they are nearly over…