Last weekend we traveled to Western Kentucky to visit my husband’s family. Our trip happened to coincide with the annual pig roast. Sparkles found a cousin with the same taste in books and the boys played with sticks and a bonfire. They were pretty much in boy heaven. Littlest did end up needing some away time from his siblings. Shannon and I walked him to the creek and watched him throw rocks in the water until he felt better. I played around with the settings on my camera a bit. Those were the only pictures I took that day.
Yesterday, Oldest took the ACT for the first time. He was out half the day and the house was so quiet without him. I missed his presence and silly puns. Sparkles went for a walk and visited with a neighbor friend for a while. Middle Boy and Littlest spent a good portion of the day playing in their room. It was just an odd quiet day. Left me with my thoughts too loud in my head.
I spent a portion of the morning reading Isaiah and doing a little research. I am supposed to do a post with a friend about the book and I’m trying to figure out how that is going to look. I could do a series of posts on Isaiah or just one commentary piece. She sent me a book as part of our study and I spent some time just figuring out how to use the resource. It is a Bible study aid more than a study guide. The study aid is a LDS book so I had to spend a bit of time learning the lingo. Every denomination has its own vocabulary and church-speak and it isn’t always easy to wade through those murky and nuanced differences. However, once we get through this study together, I get to pick the next one!
I’m still reading Marshall’s Crazy Horse book. The chapter’s are just so rich and generally heart breaking that I cannot immerse myself too long in his world. I’ve cried because the words are so beautiful and I’ve cried because the words are so sad. Sometimes I feel like my soul is waking when I read the spiritual passages. A couple of times I
have dreamt about walking in places the book described. I do not usually remember my dreams that well but images from these dreams have stayed with me. Not the entire dreams but just moments and feelings. I have a small rock that I brought back and keep by my bedside. Sometimes I hold it and remember to be grateful for my beautiful life.
I am not sure when it happened but I started to pray again. I guess the desire to spend time in meditation first came back to me at Devil’s Tower (a wretched name for such a lovely place!). One of my favorite books about “practicing the presence of God” was written by Brother Lawrence. I think now, that I miss understood what he and the other teachers on prayer were saying. I no longer believe that I need to seek God at all. Divinity is all-where. He sustains my every breath. How can I attain God’s presence when I am continually immersed in his being? God is always present. It is awareness…constant
awareness that should be practiced. Be awake. I have never been separated from the One. Just asleep and really distracted. I do not feel quite so abandoned anymore or I am quite comfortable with my spiritual estrangement from the establishment.
School is moving along well enough. We are going to change the subject rotation a bit this week. We’re going to try working on subjects for a longer period of time but only twice a week instead of every subject every day. Except for math. Math for two and a half hours a day twice a week might be too tedious. I’m already starting to go through our books and curriculum on hand to develop the rest of Littlest’s elementary curriculum. Sparkles is moving toward readiness for high school science and language arts. I’ll be pushing her in that direction as she completes her
I think I’d like to do a study on Proverbs with my crew in January. Oldest will wrap up two courses this quarter and that will give us some breathing room for a study together in the new year. Oldest is adjusting well to night classes and did pretty good on his first couple of assignments. He has a test coming up soon. I’m sure he will do well.
Today has not been a happy belly day for me. Some days are just like that. At least it wasn’t a school day. My plans for the rest of the day are to walk a bit and listen to a podcast or two.