I’m sitting by the ridiculously large fireplace at Great Wolf Lodge this morning watching the place wake up. The morning shift is arriving and the night crew are escaping before the sun rises. I’ve got a large vanilla latte from the coffee shop to sip on. I was so tempted to get a donut too but settled for just the coffee. Last night’s Donato’s wasn’t kind to my stomach but even that was expected. A donut would only make things worse. I am slowly succumbing to this chest cold I’ve been fighting. I think it will be a miserable weekend at work for me.
I’ve been avoiding writing. Writing helps me put things in their place. A way to scrub my soul and be rid of feelings, hurts and all the forbidden desires that are unacceptable to express in polite society. But society doesn’t seem all that polite to me anymore. I’m not even talking about the idiot politicians putting on a show in D.C.
My daughter was recently discriminated against. Sparkles shared her secret with a friend. The little girl shared Sparkles’ secret with her mother. The mother told several people and began treating my daughter as something less than human. Ironically, the mother constantly posts on Facebook about the evils of discrimination. She shares articles about inclusion and acceptance. This situation has been going on for a while now. This weekend I finished it. I informed the family there was to be no more contact between us. She denied any of this happened and lied to me. I could have done and said so much at this point. I chose to walk away. I feel sorry for Sparkles’ friend. She just learned that she cannot trust her mother. Both little girls lost their friend through no real fault of their own. Hating someone over something that a person cannot change about themselves is diabolical.
I cannot tell the whole story because it is not mine to tell. I have my own feelings and the consequences of the events to live with. I have forgiven much in my life. Right now, I cannot forgive nor do I even want to try. A part of me feels like I should be sad or concerned over my lack. But no such feelings exist within me. For me, this incident burned any desire I once had to belong to a certain part of society. I see no compassion in these people who worship Divine Compassion. My anger isn’t even hot and raging; it is cold.
Only ashes remain.