I’ve suffered a bit over this blog and what to write about. My first blog (no longer on the web) was how I worked through some personal trauma. It was a dialogue between myself, my shadow and my God. I moved to WordPress when that platform was shut down. Sometimes I continued to write from this inner place of emotional writing but eventually this space transformed into a homeschool mom blog. Nothing wrong with that. I enjoyed the journey.

Now that most of my kids are in or are approaching their teenage years I feel reluctant to share so much. They are starting to own their own story now and I feel it is no longer my place to share the tale. I’m not sure where the boundary lines lie.

I’m also going through so many personal doubts right now. Home education has been a great experience for us as a family. I loved being with my kids. Oldest has definitely thrived with a home education atmosphere. At the age of fifteen he passed the state licensing exam for plumbing. He is on his way to where he wants to be. Middle Boy is considering electrical school and I can prepare him for that from home. Sparkles wants to go to high school for friends, a CNA license and prepping for college. Maybe she wants to go into a therapy career. She’s thinking about it. I am concerned for her because I did not educate my kids with the goal of preparing them for institutionalized government education. The high school experience is going to hit her with all the force of a tsunami. I’m so full of dread for the 20/21 school year that I can hardly focus on the current year. Rebellion is my core value. I never encouraged conformity in my kids. The times I have tried to conform to expectations have generally been spiritually and emotionally deadening. I will hate every moment of discourse with the system.

So, now I wonder if I should do things differently with Littlest. Will he want to go to school? Would he be better off there with his autism? I really don’t think so but I feel I have to rethink it all.

Anyway, Oldest and Husband went to Texas for a horror convention with a couple of friends. As usual they had a great time and came back with lots of interesting stories. Oldest wrote about it for one of his English papers:

The Six-Million Dollar Meatloaf

This is the tale of my experience at Texas Frightmare up to the Meatloaf Incident. My dad and I travelled from Kentucky to McKenzie, Tennessee to meet up with Ricky and Danny. They are family friends and have their own podcast about eighties movies.  After picking them up we drove to the convention in Texas.

The adventure finally started with our group’s arrival at the Dallas Fort Worth airport and hotel complex. The convention center is located under the hotel. People were tightly packed into the lobby from Friday through Sunday. Tickets for Saturday had sold out almost a month in advance because of the big name celebrities attending this year.

On Friday we arrived and picked up our tickets for the whole weekend. Then, we hung out and watched a low budget movie together. The film was called Trapped Alive and was about a cannibal in a mine who used a slow moving crane to capture people. Trapped Alive had everything that made a movie great; terrible dialog, over acting, and a nonexistent plot. After the movie viewing Rick and Danny participated in the Horror Trivia Night game. Their team name was “The Six-Million Dollar Meatloaf” because they had just met Lee Majors and received his autograph. They never explained the “Meatloaf” part. I guess they were really looking forward to his session on Saturday. I could hardly wait to see Meatloaf. They lost the trivia game because they were not prepared to answer questions about the Saw and Conjuring movies. After a fun evening we went back to the hotel for the night.

Saturday morning we woke up and went downstairs to wait for the shuttle bus. While waiting, Ricky and Danny poked fun at Vince Neil’s performance of “Kickstart My Heart” on YouTube. His constant “Whya,” adding, and forgetting parts of the original song were all very funny. I also thought it was sad at the same time. Ricky and Danny were always entertaining during the shuttle bus rides and stops.

Once the shuttle bus arrived we returned to the Texas Frightmare and continued our adventures. The building was packed! We barley had any room to stand. People were coming and going from every direction. If you were shopping for something other than a giant glass fly catcher, then you were out of luck. The vendor stalls were nearly sold out of the good merchandise already. Thinking ahead, I had done most of my shopping the day before. This was the day with the “Big Celebrities”, Bruce Campbell, Tim Curry, Meatloaf and for the first time at any convention; Sam Rami. For Texas Frightmare this was the most attended day since it opened fourteen years ago.

Our first stop for Saturday was the vendor hall. I had one more thing to buy and that was a tubular UHF shirt. Then we went to watch the Saturday Short Film Block. The first movie was titled Why Does New Federative Alliance Need the Old Military Bot? The film made as much since as its title. Plus, it was in a language I assume was Spanish. Next up was a humorous Transylvania muppet like show. The characters watched a VHS from a cursed Blockbuster and didn’t rewind the tape. An announcement on the tape warned the characters they would all die in seven days if they failed to rewind the tape. The final movie was pretty good, well shot and in Russian. It had nudity in it which I missed due to two peoples’ perfectly placed heads. I didn’t even know I had missed the nudity until my dad and his buddies mentioned it that evening. This movie was also turned off before the final scene for no good reason that I could discern.

Now we get to what this paper is all about: the Meatloaf Panel. We stood in line long enough to obtain third row seating. We watched some preshow entertainment from a guy who managed the crowds and played games from the stage. We were so revved up to see Meatloaf. Finally, it was time for Meatloaf to make his entrance. He started his show saying “All you in the back come up here!  What? Are you scared of me? You should be F*#$*# scared of me!”

I was pumped up! This was looking to be an epic experience. Meatloaf kept walking across the stage saying, “I decided no one can moderate this session. It’s just you and me.” He was about halfway across the stage at this point. He continued, “The people who run this put all these chairs out here because they know I’m schizophrenic.”

Suddenly, Meatloaf’s foot got stuck on some electrical cords. He tried to get his balance but continued to wobble back and forth. I was close enough to see the terror in his eyes. Then he fell off of the stage. At first, I thought it was part of his show. In a timespan that felt like forever, I heard Meatloaf say, “What is that? Find the microphone!” Someone handed him a microphone and he continued, “Guys, I’m hurt. I just wanted to thank you for supporting me throughout my entire career. You guys have supported me my entire career and I wanted you to know how much that means to me.”

The room went silent with shock before we were all kicked out. While waiting for our shuttle bus to return we saw Meatloaf’s ambulance and watched it drive away. The moment was funny and sad at the same time. Meatloaf only broke his collar bone and considering his age he is very lucky. Meatloaf is being made better…stronger…faster. I can only hope him a speedy recovery. He promised to come back next year and I plan to be there.



In early May we started up the school year. I just realized that I did not take a group picture for the first day of school!!! How can I forget such a tradition? This year I have grades 10, 8, 7 and 3.  These are the only pictures I have from the first couple of days.


Husband spent a day learning about the legislative process with his leadership group. They went through the motions of creating a bill and putting it through the system. He also enjoyed a nice day at our beautiful state capitol building.

Sparkles and I enjoyed a girl’s day out at the monastery. We visited with the sisters, toured the back yard and enjoyed a yummy lunch. We also brought back over thirty trumpet lilies to plant at the property. I gave a few away to neighbors. The boys went out for lunch and spent some time at the property.


Oldest passed his state plumbing license exam and participated in the graduation dinner with his classmates. His instructor decided he needed to take the class again next year for more experience and will help him in getting some work co-ops after he turns sixteen. We are really proud of his accomplishment and I enjoyed bragging about it at work…especially to those co-workers that have put down home education to my face. Oldest has even been offered a job with a company in Lexington when he turns 18.


Sparkles had a great week at camp and made friends with a sweet girl. Maybe I can get them together some over the summer. Her experience was mostly positive other than the overnight part. The children were not as supervised as they should have been at the overnight camp. Once we realized how bad the situation was for her we pulled her out of the overnight portion.

Littlest spent an evening chasing lightning bugs. I loved watching him run and letting the bugs crawl on him. The Purple Martins kept an eye on him but by the time the sun went down they were tucked away in their homes. That morning I watched some of the young ones spread their wings for the first time. Unfortunately, there was an accident later in the week and one of the birds died. It looks like the bird came in for a landing too quickly and crashed into the doorway of the birdhouse. For whatever reason, the rest of the community abandoned the house completely. We were sad to see that happen.

I started going to church with my neighbor on Saturday evenings. So far it seems like a nice church. It is a diverse community but I haven’t got to know anyone. The priest came over to say hello while I explored the space and took pictures. I am not there to socialize or seek friends. I’ve felt a disconnect between myself and my faith for a long time. I tried really hard to be a good Protestant and it just didn’t work out. Sparkles says she wants to go with me this week.