My beloved Bible Study group quit meeting last month after nearly five years. I wasn’t ready for this group to end and kept hoping for an email or call that my friend had changed her mind and we would be meeting again. The note never came and my hope withered into sorrow. When Friday morning came I felt the loss and separation from the group rather sharply and cried. I would have to find a new Bible study group.

This past Wednesday night I started with a new group that meets at church. They are currently working through the Precepts inductive Bible study method of Hebrews. I must admit to being a little frightened about the intensity of the study but…oh well…I NEED a Bible study and this is available. Despite my hesitation at the new style of learning and study I dived right in…and nearly drowned.

I underestimated my emotions. I started to speak in class and fell apart. The situation is too new and I failed to give myself time to adjust. Sometimes I think I am more emotionally stable than I truly am. I had an episode…as I call them…one like I haven’t had in a long time. My heart beat so fast I could barely hear my own voice and my blood had that awful pins-and-needle feeling that traveled from my heart all the way to my fingers and toes. I shook so bad I could not write during the rest of class time and gripped the desk so hard my hand is still sore…all I wanted to do was run.

Hopefully next week will go a bit smoother.